5 ways to buidling a bridge to a better you

laqwanda roberts-buckley certified life coach 

​Originally Written 2019
There are many things that come to mind when we think about self-care. A lot of them tend to focus on some of the shorter-term activities such as taking a walk or meditating. However, self-care goes beyond the moment and is meant to last a lifetime. In reality, it is the combination of all the little activities of self-care that create something powerful which results in change.

Personally, I wanted to step away for a while to think about the bigger things in life and how self-care affects the larger scale of things. I wanted to connect to that part of caring for myself that pushed me into different spaces and stretched who I was as a person. I wanted to build a bridge to becoming a better version of myself.

It’s possible that some of us look in the mirror daily and ask the question, “What else can I do?” Maybe you ask, what are the specific steps in moving to the next level in life? Honestly, we are all searching for the better version of ourselves.

Throughout life, I have made several transitions to connect to the next level of myself. I will be honest, it’s not the easiest journey but it’s doable. Here are some things to consider when moving toward building a bridge to your better self.

• Avoid comparing your life to others. It is so easy to look at other people and believe that they are further ahead in life. Thoughts like these are dangerous to our growth because they unfairly discount our life experiences and triumphs. This type of thinking also takes attention away from your life and goals and places it on someone else’s. What you have done in life matters and you are positioned in life to connect to your higher self.

 

• Don’t beat yourself up. Sometimes we are our worst enemy. When things do not go our way or we don’t make the better decision, we can quickly begin to talk down to ourselves. Let’s be honest, we all make poor choices at times. However, allowing those moments to change how you view yourself limits your ability to see your inner potential.

 

• Find ways to connect to your passion. Take a moment to think about the things that fuel your heart. What do you enjoy doing for others that brings a smile? Are there activities available locally that you can participate in to recreate these moments on regular bases? Seek out moments and incorporate them in your life.

 

• Reexamine past successes in personal development. Think about the past week, month, and year, and jot down any moments that you felt were meaningful to your development as a person. What did you learn? How did you see yourself grow? What are one or two takeaways you had with these experiences and how can you apply them to cultivate future growth? Answering these questions is a great way to build from previous triumphs in life.

 

• Connect! Connect! Connect! Do not try to do it alone. Personally, this is the hardest part for me as I can easily isolate myself. Connecting with others helps in the development of ideas and can unlock hidden potential within. Surrounding yourself with people of similar interests can assist in fanning your internal flame.
  
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If you are an introvert like me and find it difficult to locate the right group for you, consider joining Meetup groups. Meetup groups provide an excellent opportunity to socialize with individuals of similar interests. Having things already in common can assist the introvert in us in striking up meaningful conversations.

When you sit down and think about it, there are countless ways that you can build a bridge to your better self. Obviously, these are simply suggestions. You can try them or create your own. The goal is to start somewhere and when you are ready.

Becoming a better version of yourself takes time but it does not require a complex formula. Take it one day at a time.
 

laqwanda roberts-buckley

​​With over 15 years of wellness experience, Laqwanda Roberts-Buckley, LMSW is the Founder of Healing Black Women which serves as a safe space designed to encourage and promote all forms of wellness/healing for black women. She also serves as the Chief Editor of HealingBlackWomen.com. She is a Certified Life Coach and Reiki II Practitioner. She is a Wellness Consultant and the former Director of Outreach for the National Office of Mental Health America. Laqwanda serves on the Board of Directors for RPSV, Inc and is a former Board Member for NAMI Northern VA.  As an established/nationally recognized motivational speaker, she has spoken or been seen on various platforms/panels with entities such as Eventbrite, New York Times, PBS, PsychCentral, Human Rights Campaign (HRC), Austin Black Pride, Environmental Protection Agency, Council on Social Work Minority Fellowship Program, Kaiser Permanente, Before Your Kill Yourself Podcast, and Entrepreneurs’ Organization to name a few. Instagram: @Laqwanda