how to start self-care

Laqwanda Roberts-buckley WELLNESS CONSULTANT 

​Originally Written 2018
Let’s face it, we are all busy.

There’s work, family, work again, school for some of us, and let’s not forget those never-ending to-do lists. Each day our time is twisted, turned about, and distributed among the important things in life.

However, within the maze of always being on the go, some of us are so quick to forget ourselves. Everything else is more important. Everything else needs to get done. Everything else goes on the agenda for the day, and somehow we don’t.

Now if you are thinking, “I put myself on the agenda because I picked up my dry-cleaning today,” sorry I am not referring to that sort of self-thought. Picking up the dry-cleaning is more along the lines of running an errand. At this point, I’m talking about those things that you do on PURPOSE which acknowledge your presence on the daily itinerary.

Basically, I’m referring to nothing more than self-care. Self-care is the on-PURPOSE commitment to care for yourself when needed, as needed, or just because.

It’s that trip to the barbershop every Saturday that allows you to enjoy conversations with other customers. It is that moment you step away from your desk to take in fresh air and snack on your favorite fruit. Pleasant memories flow through your mind as you live in that moment and that moment alone.

These are the on-purpose experiences that I am speaking of.

You would think that for most of us these things would be simple to do or to think of, right? However, it’s not that easy for everyone. Remember, we are busy. This means that from time to time we kick ourselves to the curb. So it’s not surprising that some of us may need a little assistance on how to begin self-care. Luckily, I have a few tips that may be helpful in getting started:
 
1) DO A QUICK LIFE CHECKUP
A life checkup may seem odd to do at first, but it is actually a simple way to take inventory of what may be happening in your life. To do the checkup, write down the areas of your life that you deal with regularly. For example, I would write down: family, work, relationship. Next, I would rank them on a scale from 0 to 3 with 0 = no stress and 3 = high stress. If I rank family as a 3, then I can look at ways to help me address things better around that specific areas.
 
For me personally, helping my child with school projects can be stressful. Because I am aware of this, I insert breaks and I take a few moments of me-time afterward. The areas and corresponding self-care activities can be whatever you need them to be. Please tailor these to your life. However, if you find yourself struggling, you might want to consider seeking help from a professional of your choosing.
 
2) TRY A MOOD APP
Maybe you know there is an unbalanced space in your life, but you can’t put your finger on it. Downloading a mood app could be very useful for unlocking the door to better self-care. The apps can aid in tracking your mood, and allow you to list activities and log entries about your day. The bonus is that you can receive weekly or monthly reports. This information could allow you to pinpoint certain times when you may need to give yourself a little more attention.
 
 3) JUST LIST IT
The final thing you can do to start your self-care journey is sit and make a list of everything that you love to do. List that experiences that place a smile on your face or put your mind at ease. Is it walking the dog, getting a massage, lighting candles or incense, or reading/listening to your favorite book? Regardless of what it is, don’t overthink it. Keep things simple.
 
Remember, self-care is all about you. It is not a one-size-fits-all experience. It varies in activities performed, as well as the energy and time required. You can go in with everything you got or gently ease into it. It can be planned or totally spontaneous. Both ways, you are taking care of yourself and that’s what really matters.
 
You know, I honestly believed that I started this blog just to speak about self-care. However, the more I wrote, I realized just how much writing is a major part of my self-care. So I thank you for allowing me to share not only my thoughts but my journey to Self-Care Today.
 

Laqwanda Roberts-buckley

​​With over 15 years of wellness experience, Laqwanda Roberts-Buckley, LMSW is the Founder of Healing Black Women which serves as a safe space designed to encourage and promote all forms of wellness/healing for black women. She also serves as the Chief Editor of HealingBlackWomen.com. She is a Certified Life Coach and Reiki II Practitioner. She is a Wellness Consultant and the former Director of Outreach for the National Office of Mental Health America. Laqwanda serves on the Board of Directors for RPSV, Inc and is a former Board Member for NAMI Northern VA.  As an established/nationally recognized motivational speaker, she has spoken or been seen on various platforms/panels with entities such as Eventbrite, New York Times, PBS, PsychCentral, Human Rights Campaign (HRC), Austin Black Pride, Environmental Protection Agency, Council on Social Work Minority Fellowship Program, Kaiser Permanente, Before Your Kill Yourself Podcast, and Entrepreneurs’ Organization to name a few. Instagram: @Laqwanda